


Word

by Morrobay



Category: Freier Fall | Free Fall (2013)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-08
Updated: 2017-12-08
Packaged: 2019-02-11 23:24:56
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 798
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12946272
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Morrobay/pseuds/Morrobay





	Word

What was the word he was looking for?

The word to describe the way he felt when they were in this exact position - it was second nature for them now, the way they settled together after they made love...both facing the open door to the balcony with fresh air occassionally moving the heavy curtain, Marc leaning back against Kay with Kay's arm over him, sometimes still, sometimes stroking softly - it invoked a feeling that he hadn't yet been able to describe to himself.

Relaxed? Sure, but more than that...he felt relaxed after he had a beer...this was way beyond relaxed.

Calm? that came closer but still didn't define it...or explain it....it was like being totally immersed in soothing warmth, where nothing and no one could intrude on the two of them...it was them alone...

They'd had an argument earlier...although with the two of them, silence overwhelmed any words spoken.

The discussion, if you could call it that, centered on the fact that Marc, as time grew closer to the baby being born, had stopped coming to the apartment as often as he had...Kay, seeing their relationship in such narrow focus, saw it as the best time to come clean with Bettina...didn't understand Marc's reluctance to tell the truth.

Well, he understood it but he didn't like it...didn't like Marc treating him as a mere distraction from his boring, conventional, hum-drum life...Marc came and went in Kay's life - in his very home - at his own pleasure, his own convenience...seemingly with no concern for Kay's feelings at all. It wasn't exactly what Kay had envisioned when he offered the key.

What he suspected but didn't know for sure, was that Marc was so far gone it was as if he had no choice. Kay did know certain things...he knew that Marc was infatuated with him and with his new-found discovery of the best sex he'd ever had...knew he was fighting himself...knew he was capable of striking out at Kay when he felt cornered.

Kay was right. Marc didn't over-think it, he just knew he loved being with Kay, so much so that he was willingly sacrificing things that he held dear - his family - his way of life - in order to be with him. Did Kay even understand what he was giving up to come here so they could be together? Even if it was only for a few hours, wasn't it better than nothing? He had been coming over less over the past weeks...he was trying to find his way back to Bettina and his old life...but wasn't at all sure it was even possible.

With Kay he found himself doing things that, when he looked back on them, surprised him...although he felt no remorse in the moment or after, just a kind of wonder that he did these things at all...actions in bed other than sex, that he had never done before, not even with Bettina...watching Kay as he slept, looking in his eyes as they made love, falling asleep close to him, touching - this last was totally opposite of how he slept in his bed at home, where there was always space between him and his girlfriend.

The argument had started with a simple statement by Kay "You're not here much lately."

Marc overreacted as usual; of course, he didn't see it as overreacting until later. He gave a few angry, lame excuses...accused Kay of trying to monopolize his time, accused him of being jealous, lashed out in unnecessary fury.

Kay lit a cigarette and went out on the balcony, refusing to be drawn into an argument that had no viable end.

They stayed on opposite sides of the wall as the game played out; Kay eventually came back inside, wordlessly stretched out on the bed and lit another cigarette, the only outward sign that he was irritated at Marc's reaction, and at the time they were losing.

Marc, feeling quite contrite and knowing they had little time left tonight, had ended up pacing the tiny room, then leaned back against a wall and slid down to the floor, head down, trying to think rationally...but when Kay came back in the room, any sense of logic disappeared, replaced by need...had he actually crawled those few feet back to Kay on his hands and knees?

He felt Kay's arms around him, pulling him close...they were together, quiet - no questions, nothing to say or explain.

Marc took a deep breath and let it out, the tension leaving him as he relaxed in Kay's arms; he suddenly found the word for which he'd been searching...could now describe what he felt when he was with Kay...

Safe.


End file.
